Visa Interviewer: "Ma'am, how will you manage in our country if you don't know English?"
Passerby: "Like you are managing in our country without knowing Hindi!"
It is rather unfortunate that the latter is not so much of a problem as the former. English has been deemed a universal language, and that has led to every nation using English as its official language. Such is the situation that knowing English is power. If you do not know English, you are considered illiterate.
The irony is in the fact that by using English as means to become "modern", India has almost eliminated its own language and culture. We fail to appreciate our own native language. Our very identity as Indians has been compromised.
But then again, is this really such a bad thing? After all, Indian society, as aptly portrayed in the film, is nothing but the wife cooking at home, while the husband is busy at big meetings consisting of "important talks in English". Does Indian culture mean male chauvinism to such an extent that the husband objects to his wife having ONE money-generating job of making laddoos? These are the topics explored in this wonderful film and in this particular review.
First off, the performance of Sridevi in this film needs special mention. After a 15-year hiatus from acting, she returned to the big screen with a bang, and received the well-deserved title of "Meryl Streep of India". So beautiful was her rendition of that innocent yet determined mother, that by the time she delivered her big wedding speech towards the end of the movie, there was not a single dry eye in the theatres.
The central theme of the film is feminism. It is important to understand feminism and women empowerment. Both of them essentially mean the same thing- giving importance to the marginalised voice of women. Feminism is the concept, and women empowerment is the goal.
But in recent years, even well-to-do women have started a propaganda under the name of feminism. As expected, this has lead to the common misunderstanding that feminism is nothing but women chauvinism. What feminism actually strives towards is gender equality.
Sashi: "Does it mean marriage is over? No. That is the time you have to help yourself. Nobody can help you better than you, if you do that, you will return back feeling equal, your friendship will return back, your life will be beautiful."Therein lies the true difference between true feminism and fake feminism. True feminism is all about listening to the unvoiced, letting one speak the unspeakable, putting unconditional efforts to understand the misunderstood, and most importantly, dissolving the tendency of "othering", silencing, over-powering or de-valuing what "I" cannot see, listen, speak or understand. Having a female body does not make one a feminist.
I find it absolutely needless to go on and on about the male chauvinism that has been portrayed in the film very clearly. I guess the following quotes speak volumes.
1. Satish: "Tum ye laddoo banane ka chakkar chor do. Tumhare laddo sirf mere liye hain."
Translation- "You should leave this job of making laddos. Your laddoos are reserved only me."
2. Sashi: "Mard khana banaye to kalaa. Aurat khana banaye to farz!"
Translation- "When a man cooks food, it's art. When a woman cooks, it's her duty!"
1. Satish: "Tum ye laddoo banane ka chakkar chor do. Tumhare laddo sirf mere liye hain."
Translation- "You should leave this job of making laddos. Your laddoos are reserved only me."
2. Sashi: "Mard khana banaye to kalaa. Aurat khana banaye to farz!"
Translation- "When a man cooks food, it's art. When a woman cooks, it's her duty!"
Satish, the husband, constantly neglected the needs of his wife. All he considered Sashi to be was someone who served him tea every morning and cooked amazing food. He does not hug her in spite of having the closest relationship, and does not talk much with her because apparently important talks require to be completed in English. In short, he does not respect her at all.
He even neglects his duty as a father. When his son comes to their room while in America, he asks Sashi to handle the situation because he is on vacation. However, when Sashi, who relentlessly takes care of her family 24X7, takes a break for one day and is not there when her son gets hurt, all hell breaks loose. Satish even goes out of his way to call her selfish.
Sashi's daughter also hardly respected her own mother. In fact, she always felt embarrassed of her mother, because she did not know English. She was embarrassed of the fact that her mother was illiterate.
The only person in the family who empathises with Sashi is her mother-in-law, perhaps because she has also had her share of male chauvinism in her times. She constantly tries to console her in times of extreme distress.
In America, however, she gains many pillars of support- her teacher, her classmates, and most importantly, her niece. Why her niece supports her so much is something that has confused me. Perhaps because she was shocked to see a woman being discriminated against, while she was brought up in an unprejudiced environment. Or perhaps because her sister was getting married, and she had her concerns over the life of women after marriage, which were reflected in Sashi's life after marriage. By helping Sashi, she felt she was helping her sister too.
Coming to the first day of the English class. Two things happen which boost her confidence:
1. She is not the only person struggling because of lack of knowledge in English. There are other people from vastly different backgrounds with the same struggle as her.
2. She has been called an entrepreneur by the teacher. What she does- making laddoos- has a name. It is not something trivial as her husband makes it out to be. Dignity is what defines an individual and it comes through proper salutations.
1. She is not the only person struggling because of lack of knowledge in English. There are other people from vastly different backgrounds with the same struggle as her.
2. She has been called an entrepreneur by the teacher. What she does- making laddoos- has a name. It is not something trivial as her husband makes it out to be. Dignity is what defines an individual and it comes through proper salutations.
Sashi: "Jab apne aap ko pasand nahi karte hain, tab apne se juri hui har cheez achi nahi lagti. Nai cheezen aakarshit karte hain. Jab apne aap ko pyaar karne lagte hain, to wahi purani zindagi nai lagne lagti hain, achi lagne lagti hain. Thank you, mujhe apne aap se pyar karna sikhane ke liye.
Translation: "When you don't like yourself... you tend to dislike everything connected to you. New things seem to be more attractive. When you learn to love yourself... then the same old life... starts looking new... starts looking nice. Thank you... for teaching me... how to love myself! Thank you for making me... feel good about myself.”This perfectly sums up Sashi's relation with Laurent. Laurent represented everything that society failed to give Sashi because she was a woman. Laurent made Sashi realise that it really is an equal world out there- perhaps because they both felt that cooking is an art, or because they both had inadequate knowledge of English, or maybe because he was the first person to make Sashi feel special. Even speaking in their own native languages did not pose a problem for them because they were equal people, despite differences in nationality, language, gender and everything. Equality does not need similarity. It's respect that matters. Thanks to Laurent, Sashi realised that she was in need of respect, not love.
Translation: "When you don't like yourself... you tend to dislike everything connected to you. New things seem to be more attractive. When you learn to love yourself... then the same old life... starts looking new... starts looking nice. Thank you... for teaching me... how to love myself! Thank you for making me... feel good about myself.”This perfectly sums up Sashi's relation with Laurent. Laurent represented everything that society failed to give Sashi because she was a woman. Laurent made Sashi realise that it really is an equal world out there- perhaps because they both felt that cooking is an art, or because they both had inadequate knowledge of English, or maybe because he was the first person to make Sashi feel special. Even speaking in their own native languages did not pose a problem for them because they were equal people, despite differences in nationality, language, gender and everything. Equality does not need similarity. It's respect that matters. Thanks to Laurent, Sashi realised that she was in need of respect, not love.
Towards the end of the film, we see Satish finally respecting his wife. People who dominate over other people always have a sense of insecurity that if they give much importance to the other person, the other person will dominate over them. However, when Satish sees that even after her big success with the wedding speech, Sashi loves him, he finally starts respecting her and loving her even more.
"This marriage is a beautiful thing. It is a most special friendship, friendship of two people who are equal. Life is a long journey, Meera, sometimes… you will feel you are less, Kevin sometimes, you will also feel that you are less than Meera. Try to help each other, to feel equal, it will be nice. Sometimes, married couple don’t even know how the other is feeling. So, how they will help the other? Does it mean marriage is over? No. That is the time you have to help yourself. Nobody can help you better than you, if you do that, you will return back feeling equal, your friendship will return back, your life will be beautiful.
Meera… Kevin… Maybe you all very busy, but, have family, son, daughter. In this big world, your small little world, it will make you feel so good. Family… family can never be… never be, umm.. never be judgmental, family will never put you down, will never make you feel… small. Family is the only one who will never laugh at your weaknesses, family is the only place, where you always get love and respect. That’s all Meera and Kevin, I wish you all the best. Thank you."
Meera… Kevin… Maybe you all very busy, but, have family, son, daughter. In this big world, your small little world, it will make you feel so good. Family… family can never be… never be, umm.. never be judgmental, family will never put you down, will never make you feel… small. Family is the only one who will never laugh at your weaknesses, family is the only place, where you always get love and respect. That’s all Meera and Kevin, I wish you all the best. Thank you."
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